✨💡#AskLavender: What Hiring Managers Really Think During Interviews

The invisible filter that gets great candidates rejected — and how to avoid triggering it.

Apr 23, 2025

Q: “I know about the obvious things — like having a weak Resume/CV or making a huge mistake in an interview. But what’s something subtle you see hiring managers reject people for that most candidates aren’t even aware of?”

🧩 Career Clarity Code™ Blog Series:
“The Headache Factor”
Stage 1 (coming soon) | Stage 2 (coming soon) | Stage 3 (here)

A: Ohhh, I’m so glad you asked this.

There’s something I’ve seen come up
time and time again over 20+ years in Talent Acquisition —
especially in the final rounds of interviews,
where decision-making gets emotional, fast.

It’s something most candidates don’t realize they’re doing.

And it’s one of the top hidden reasons
hiring managers say no to someone
they technically liked.

✨ Why They Might Say “No”
“Even if you’re technically brilliant, if your service or execution style creates more work for them… you might not move forward.”

Meet: The Headache Factor™️

The Headache Factor is a shorthand for how much effort, follow-up, damage control, or emotional labor a hiring manager predicts they’ll need to invest if you join their team.

Even a highly qualified, culturally aligned candidate can be passed over if they unknowingly give off signs that:

They need extra hand-holding
They’re overly rigid or difficult with stakeholders
They’re likely to frustrate customers
Or they’ll bring a high-maintenance energy to the team dynamic

This is one of the biggest “hidden filters”
used in hiring decisions —
and often the reason a technically perfect candidate
doesn’t move forward.

It sounds like this:

💭 “Will this person lighten my workload… or add to it?”

Even if you don’t mean to, these behaviors can signal:

“This person might require more effort, more management, or more damage control.”

As a Candidate, think about two things:

1️⃣ What can I remove from the Hiring Manager’s plate (workload, stress, frustrations)
2️⃣ What can I do to align nicely ✨with✨ their style, or their team culture, to not add to the friction of collaboration or understanding (aka you become part of the team, instead of becoming an additional part of their problems)

Even if you’re highly qualified, deeply aligned,
and technically perfect on paper…
If a hiring manager feels like you’ll create friction, stress, or complexity,
they’ll move on.

What Triggers the Headache Factor?

It’s rarely one big thing.
It’s usually a subtle accumulation of signals during the interview(s).

Here are a few red flags I’ve seen most often:

🚩 Talking over the hiring manager
🚩 Being rigid, overly opinionated, or defensive
🚩 Giving long, winding answers with no clear point
🚩 “Kitchen sinking” — dumping every detail about your experience, all at once
🚩 Not tailoring your responses to what was actually asked (aka not answering the question asked)

Even unintentionally, these behaviors can create the perception that you’ll be:

Harder to manage
More effort to collaborate with
A source of tension on the team

And in a hiring manager’s brain, where capacity is often maxed out:
👉 more effort = more headache(s)

How to Show You’re a Relief — Not a Headache

This isn’t about being perfect.
It’s about being intentional.

Here’s how to shift your presence:

✅ Keep your answers clear + focused.
Say what needs to be said — then pause.
Avoid “proving” or “selling”.
Simply just respond. Answer exactly what was asked.
It shows confidence and clarity.

Then, allow them to ask follow-up questions to dive deeper.
TIP: You can leverage the STAR Method as a good starting point to craft your answers.

✅ Tailor your examples to their pain points.
Ask your recruiter in advance:

“From your perspective, what are the hiring manager’s biggest pain points right now?”
“What’s the hiring manager most concerned about in this role?”
“What’s been hardest to find in your ideal candidate?”
“Has the role been open for a while? What are they still hoping to find?”

Then use that insight to guide your stories during interviews.

✅ Use service-oriented framing.
Rather than just listing accomplishments,
connect them to the relief or results
they brought your past teams or leaders.
Think:

“I built the onboarding guide that cut training time in half — so my manager didn’t have to walk every new hire through the same steps.”

✅ Show that you understand team dynamics.
Hiring managers want to know:

Can you take initiative without drama?
Can you solve problems without making more problems?
Will you require a ton of supervision or double-checking of your work?
Will you represent them well in a room?
Do you read the room and communicate with intention?

Show how you think ahead, adapt your style, and own your work without making waves.

✅ Demonstrate that you’re easy to work with.
You might say:

“I’m someone who takes ownership and tries to remove complexity for my team and manager.”
“I try to make things easy for my team and my manager. I’m a big believer in streamlining things when I can — and owning things without needing a lot of back-and-forth, I value momentum and clarity.”
“Being a solution in a sea of problems is what lights me up — and how I know I’m in the right role.”

You don’t need to say you’re “low maintenance.”
Just be someone who brings clarity, not chaos.

💡 Got a question of your own?
Submit it anonymously (or by name!) right here →

You Can Be Brilliant — And Still Get a “No”

The final hiring decision isn’t always about who’s most experienced or polished.
It’s also rarely about who’s “best on paper.”

🔑 It’s often about who feels like a safe, reliable, low-friction addition to the team.

This is the stuff that doesn’t show up on LinkedIn.
But it always shows up in the interview.

A Final Thought

Even the best résumé can’t compensate for a high Headache Factor. What hiring managers really want is someone who eases their stress, builds trust quickly, and works with the team, not just alongside it.

So the next time you prep for a hiring manager interview, ask yourself:

“What would make this person’s day easier — and how can I help?”

💗 No Matter What, Remember:

You’re not too much. You’re not too loud. You’re not doing it wrong.
You just need to show them that you bring clarity, not chaos.

And that’s a superpower. 💫

💡 Want the Full Breakdown on The Headache Factor™️?

This is just scratching the surface.

I’ll be unpacking:

Exactly why this dynamic shows up
Why this filter is often subconscious
(and how to spot if you’re doing it subconsciously)
How hiring managers process interviews emotionally,
and behind the scenes
And how you can shift your interview style without shapeshifting who you are

✨ Stage 1 + 2 of this series drop soon for subscribers.
I’ll unpack why this dynamic happens and how to shift it without shapeshifting.
Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss the deeper dives.

And if you’re already a Career Clarity member?
💌 You’ll get first access when those drop.

Because the more you understand how hiring decisions are made…
The more power you have to shift them in your favor.

Until next time,
💜 Lavender

P.S. ✨❓ Have your own question
about your job search, career path, or hiring strategy?
Submit it to #AskLavender — I feature real questions from readers,
just like you read here.
You never know who else might be helped by what’s on your heart. 💜

Written by Lavender Loveway — career strategist, clarity guide, and creator of the Brilliance Sequence™.
”With 20+ years in hiring and over 55,000 hours of interviewing behind me, I’m here to help you see your path clearly—and walk it with confidence.”
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